On Air

Joan Rivers: 13 Jokes We Need To Laugh At & Words Of Wisdom To Live By

September 4, 2014 5:07 PM

View Comments

Groundbreaking comedian Joan Rivers made her mark “by saying what everyone else is thinking.” She did just that during an appearance on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson in 1965, launching her career on the backs of crude one-liners focused on celebrities and self-deprecation; her trademark humor became a staple for future generations of comedians.

Rivers passed away today (September 4) from complications following a routine vocal cord procedure at an Upper East Side doctors office. Rivers was rushed to Mount Sinai Hospital and placed in a medically-induced coma last Thursday.

“My mother’s greatest joy in life was to make people laugh. Although that is difficult to do right now, I know her final wish would be that we return to laughing soon,” said Melissa Rivers in a statement.

In memoriam, we look at some of Joan Rivers’ best jokes, one-liners, and words of wisdom from the woman who “learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes” she had ever done.


joan-rivers

(AP Photo/Nick Ut)

“Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.”


joan-rivers

(AP Photo/Mark J. Terrill)

“I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer’s. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.”


joan-rivers

(photo by Newsmakers)

“You know you’ve reached middle age when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.”


joan-rivers

(JEFF HAYNES/AFP/Getty Images)

“That comes with age: knowing it’s their problem, not mine.”


joan-rivers

(AP Photo)

“My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it’s missing, and what’s there stinks.”


joan-rivers

(Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

“People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.”


joan-rivers

(AP Photo/Jeff Robbins)

“My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.”


joan-rivers

(AP Photo/Ed Bailey)

“I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.”


joan-rivers

(Photo by Hulton Archive/Getty Images)

“I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”


joan-rivers

(AP Photo/Dan Grossi)

“The fun of working on the road means stealing from hotels. I’ve been doing it for so long, I have a set of towels from the Ark.”


joan-rivers

(AP Photo)

“Thank God we’re living in a country where the sky’s the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.”


joan-rivers

(AP Photo/Rick Maiman)

“You know you’re getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don’t know anyone who can see through it.”


joan-rivers

(AP Photo/Mark Lennihan)

“We all mourn in our own way. I mourn with a great steak.”


Read More Music News On WCBSFM.com:

View Comments
blog comments powered by Disqus
Filed Under
Related Tags
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 394 other followers